New Reasons to Hate Golf

There has been a long running tie for this writer between tennis and golf as to which was the more banal, boring and generally detested spectator sport; with bowling running a close race. Now before you get all huffy let me explain. I've played a few... um... rounds? of tennis. Matches? That sounds right.. And it's just not for me. For those of you that play tennis, have at 'er. For those who watch I can't imagine a more boring event to endure.

Both golf and tennis also suffer from an elitest nature with a great deal of money being spent on greens fees, club memberships, stupid looking outfits, all this besides the price of a set of clubs or a good racket.

Bowling is enjoyable when drunk, but again, watching a bowling match is about exciting as watching the grass on a fairway grow. Speaking of grass I have never played golf on a course that didn't feature a windmill or giant plastic gorilla, and probably never will. At least any poor schlub can go bowling for 10 bucks plus the cost of beer.

Golf can now claim the top spot in my most hated leisure activity for not only is it a waste of time and money to play, but Golf courses are major contributers to the depletion of scarce water resources and the pollution of fresh water sources due to fertilizer and pesticide run off.

The average American golf course drinks up some 50 million gallons of water a year — comparable to the yearly usage of 1,400 people. In the West, the figures are higher.

Excessive water use in Southern California, much of which is attributed to golf courses has actually caused a physical drop in the landscape and groundwater resevoirs are depleted.

Lake Lanier, Atlanta’s main source of water, has also dropped to record low levels, exposing muddy bottom not seen in half a century.

Mark Esoda, superintendent of the Atlanta Country Club in suburban Marietta, where initiation fees are $85,000, acknowledges that practices among the nation’s courses range from indifferent to conscientious. Of course. If your rich you can pay to not give a fuck.

Maybe i'm just jealous i can't fork over 85 grand to go for an extended walk. Either way. Golf's massive impact on water resources kicks it into the number one spot for my most hated sports...

Fuck you Golf.

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For more info on the problematics of Golf Corse Water conservation:
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sources: http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1A1-D8TKO3780.html
http://ucrturf.ucr.edu/topics/trends_in_golf_course_water_use.pdf